Stop Comparing

Story time:

 **A close friend recently asked me ‘how do you do it?’  It equals a relatively clean house, full time job, home improvements, cook every night, keep up with 2 young kids and have a husband who is away most of each work week.  This is NOT a bragging post….I promise.  What struck me was that on the surface she is right….just writing those words makes me feel kinda proud….but there is so much more to the picture than just those words….What she missed is the gigantic kid fight I had to break up between the kids before she got to my house, the laundry that I would rather burn than actually fold and put away, etc, etc, etc.

For some perspective:  A number of years ago a very nice girl wanted to be friends with me and as skittish as I am around new people….she really had to pin me down and make me be friends and I will be forever grateful for her persistence.  For the purposes of this story I will give her the name of ‘Emmy’.  Emmy and her husband are a little bit older than Dave and I and married before we did, but that didn’t stop me from comparing.  The worst thing I could do.  Comparing is not fair to yourself or the person you are comparing yourself to.  Emmy and her family had the same outside interests…camping, boating, etc.  We met up on weekends at the lake to enjoy the outdoors together.  One day I made an offhand comment about how envious I was about their things and place in the world.  Emmy did not take that comment as offhand and looked me straight in the eye and said ‘In life, we are in a different place than you’.  I remember being floored.  What a simple concept and she was/is so right.  In general terms I was comparing my beginning to their middle.  Talk about a sure fire way to feel bad about yourself.

I learned a valuable lesson with that comment and I hope you all do to.  Stop comparing where you are in life against where someone else is in their life.  It’s so hard to do to reality….but once you adopt this mantra- your mental health will improve.

Here is a short and sweet recap…  I do it because my kids are old enough to have a set of chores, Dave and I have our routines down……and I close the door to the laundry room so you can’t see the pile 🙂

 stop comparing

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